Average Saturday
by Hispanicin
Summary: It was a normal morning in Amity Park, the sun was shining, the birds were singing the people were waki- "MOTHERFU-" Danny Phantom's loud cry was cut short as he slammed against a wall.


It was a normal morning in Amity Park, the sun was shining, the birds were singing the people were waki-

" _MOTHERFU-"_ Danny Phantom's loud cry was cut short as he slammed against a wall. He stood up as fast as he could, swaying around like a drunk man stumbling off a rollercoaster. This ghost was the _worst_ ghost he had encountered in a long time. Not because it was particularly strong, but because it was so _fucking_ annoying. It was a wall ghost. Don't ask how that works because he wasn't sure, and he'd been fighting it for almost four hours now. Danny heard a noise to his left and suddenly zoomed toward it with absolutely zero hesitation. To an outsider, it might have seemed idiotic to fly full speed at a wall, but Danny knew what he was doing.

Or at least he thought he did.

Danny slammed right into the wall. He flew back, yelling curses that would make the most vulgar sailor blush. A mother walking to the park with her child covered its ears.

Danny furiously whipped around, "Alright! That's _it."_ He glared at all the walls around him. Perfectly normal walls, I might add, "I am _not_ wasting another _second_ of my Saturday chasing something that makes me look and feel like an idiot." Flipping the walls off, he turned and flew away. Only once he was out of sight and earshot did a small head poke out of a wall.

"Nobody told me Phantom was a total idiot," it muttered in a squeaky voice. The small ghost shrugged and flew to terrorize citizens while he could. He assumed the ghost boy at least had smart allies, sidekicks or whatever. He would use the time before they figured it out for his advantage.

* * *

Tucker and Sam watched as Danny stumbled into his room and face-planted onto his bed, not bothering with transformation. A few seconds of silence passed then the two friends heard muffled screaming. They shared a look and shuffled closer to the bed. The screaming turned into crying. The friendship duo paused and stared as Danny lifted his head.

"Who thought it was a good idea to be the ghost of fucking _walls_?" he cried, before burying his head and screaming again. Sharing another concerned glance with Sam, Tucker stepped forward.

"How much did you sleep last night?" he asked, talking slowly. There was a pause then Danny slowly sat up, transforming into Phantom as he did. Leaning against the headboard, Danny put a weird ice stick he had made between his teeth and put his hands behind his head.

"Sleep? Haven't heard that name in years…" Danny looked over their shoulders, as if looking off into the distance. Sam stepped forward and he looked at her. Smiling sweetly, she gingerly plucked the makeshift cigarette from between Danny's lips and, still maintaining eye contact, she dropped it on the floor and crushed it with the heel of her boot. He chuckled nervously as his eyes darted around, looking for an exit. Sam was annoyed. Fuck.

"Oh no you don't," she muttered, leaning forward and snatching his wrist. Danny, forgetting he was a _ghost_ and that he could go _intangible,_ struggled against her grip but ultimately gave up, "You're going to sleep even if I have to shove Nyquil™ down your throat."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," he declared loudly, staring at her directly in the eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Danny suddenly slumped forward. Sam and Tucker reached forward in concern and mild panic, before they heard a not-so-quiet snore. Smiling softly, Sam let go of his wrist and tucked him in, making sure he wasn't in an uncomfortable position. Behind her, Tucker smirked and opened his mouth, but without turning around, Sam spoke up.

"If you say anything about us being _'lovebirds'_ , I will destroy your dusty-ass PDA and shove it up your ass."

Tucker looked horrified and instinctively put a hand over his hoodie pocket, where Linda, his trusty PDA, resided. If Sam was being completely honest, she wasn't sure why Tucker kept that old thing. It was extremely outdated, and she could buy him something that was way more advanced. But when she had suggested this, he said that it _'held a lot of emotional value'_ and _'was unconventional but useful'._ Whatever the fuck _that_ was supposed to mean.

With a sigh she rubbed her face and looked at Tucker, "Looks like we'll have to take care of the town while the hero rests." Tucker agreed with a curt nod. Together, they headed downstairs to swipe some weapons and thermoses, leaving Danny _Phantom_ sleeping in Danny _Fenton's_ bed.

Oh boy.

* * *

Across town, people were being harassed by a particularly annoying ghost that only seemed to like tickling or poking people when they touched or leaned against walls. Annoyed protests rose up when by 3 o'clock, the ghost boy hadn't taken care of it. Sam and Tucker, who lacked the ghost sense Danny was blessed (or cursed, depending on how you see it) with, remained oblivious on the other side of town. The ghost detector they had didn't reach as far, so, happily, the teenagers joked and walked along the park. In fact, they were discussing an important thing that was clearly more important than some annoying ghost.

"-azing legs. That's why Danny is way more fuckable than snuggly," Tucker concluded with an assured nod. Sam narrowed her eyes, he made a point, but was nonetheless wrong. And she had to make him see that.

"Yeah but have you _looked_ at his face? He looks like a newborn fawn straight out of Bambi! And the shy way he looks away and blushes when anyone gives him attention makes anyone want to wrap him up in a blanket and protect him from the world." She paused, "Anyone except maybe soulless vermin like Dash and Paulina. And even Dash can't resist it much. I once saw him pet Danny when he thought no one was looking." She grinned at Tucker, "You should've seen Danny. He looked so confused and embarrassed. It was so cute."

Tucker sighed and nodded, "Alright you win, you're right. I'd prefer to cuddle Danny over fucking him."

With a satisfied smile, Sam suggested they eat ice cream. Tucker agreed and they both skipped off to munch on the cool treat.

* * *

Jazz liked going to the library, even though most of the books were either 200 years old or trashy novels, she always somehow found good reads. Don't ask how. She didn't know. So, there she was, on Saturday, enjoying a nice book, when a ghost popped out of the wall beside her and screamed at her. Startled, Jazz screamed too, and the book flew out of her hands. She watched helplessly as the book sailed through the air and landed on the floor with a crunch. She scrambled for it and whimpered a bit when she saw the crinkled pages. Her sad gaze slid to the ghost, who still had its small head sticking out of the wall with amusement, and her eyes hardened in anger. The ghost flinched and suddenly looked nervous.

"Y-you know? I think someone's callin' me I g-gotta-" he started, turning to flee, but Jazz's voice stopped him.

" _Not so fast."_

The ghost froze and turned to her. She slowly stood up and sat back where she was, placing the book on the table. She narrowed her eyes at the ghost and motioned to the book, "Fix it."

"But-"

" _Did I stutter?"_ she hissed. The ghost gulped and got to work. This girl was scary.

* * *

Madeline Fenton believed she was a very logical woman. It helped when rallying her impulsive husband and keeping him out of trouble. So, when she saw a sleeping lump on her son's bed, she _assumed_ that it was, in fact, _her son._ Seeing her son sleeping peacefully, it filled her with relief. She quietly stepped into his room and walked closer, stifling a small laugh when she only saw his nose and mouth peeking out from under the blanket. Crouching down next to him, she pushed the blanket until she uncovered his forehead and placed a kiss there. But when she felt his ice-cold skin, she jerked back, frowning in concern. She looked at his face again and just then she noticed the wisps of _white_ hair falling against his forehead. She pulled the blanket back a bit more to reveal a head full of white hair. She gasped and jolt of anger ran through her. How dare he? How dare Danny go dye his hair white like that menace _Phantom_? She thought he knew better…

With a frown, she stood up. She was going to have to talk to him when he woke up. In fact, she would call a family meeting. Yes. The last thing she needed was Jazz also losing her mind and dying her hair blue like that crazy popstar, Amber, was it? No, Maddie needed to stop this rebellion now.

With newfound determination, she turned and marched out of the room, going to plan what she wanted to say.

* * *

Near the end of the day, Sam and Tucker ran into Jazz and were surprised to see her scolding a small green ghost who looked like a shrunken down mobster. He was carrying her purse and looked to be picking up a compact mirror from the ground. Tucker and Sam shared a glance, before they hurried over to Jazz.

"Jazz! Are you okay? Is he stealing your purse? Because if he is I swear to god-" Sam started, but Jazz cut in.

"Don't worry. He's helping me with my purse while I escort him back to the ghost zone, right?" Jazz looked at the tiny mobster, who nodded fervently. Sam eyed him warily but ultimately shrugged and started walking alongside them. Tucker was staring at the mobster curiously.

"Why are you so small?" he finally asked. The mobster looked at him and narrowed his eyes.

"Why are _you_ so big?" he challenged. Tucker stared at him then shrugged.

"Fair enough."

* * *

Danny woke up sometime around 6pm. He blinked awake then immediately groaned rolled off the bed onto the floor with a rather loud _thump._ In a flash, he was back to being Danny _Fenton_ , who was now planning a nice and long speech for his two dear friends about letting him fall asleep in his ghost form when his _ghost hunter parents could_ _walk in at any time._ Before his could finish his speech, his mother's voice reached his ears.

"Danny? Are you awake?"

He blinked, then warily replied with a small, "Yeah?"

"Come downstairs, we're having a family meeting." A jolt of panic ran through him, _Fuck._

"A Fenton Family Meeting™!" his dad boomed, which eased his nervousness a bit. There was a pause and low chatter, as if someone was talking normally, then his dad spoke up again, "Sorry, I meant a Fenton-Foley-Mason Meeting™!" Danny let out a bark of laughter and shook his head fondly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he called back, stretching and clambering out of his room and down the stairs. When he got to the living room, he was met with a startled/surprised look on his mother's face, a sort of bewildered frown on his dad's, and a look of pure relief on Sam, Tucker, and Jazz. His mother slowly got up and walked closer to him, her steps careful and deliberate. He laughed uneasily and stepped back, "Uh, mom?"

She reached out and ran a hand through his hair, tugging it lightly, "Why isn't it white anymore?"

Danny choked a bit and jerked back sharply, " _What_?"

She frowned thoughtfully, "While you were sleeping, it was white."

Danny blanched, "Uhh…"

" _Temporary Hair color_!" Sam all but hollered. Then she cleared her throat and more calmly said, "We were testing a temporary hair dye I bought. It's European and stuff and Danny volunteered."

Danny nodded jerkily. Maddie narrowed her eyes a him and he absently shivered under her scrutinizing gaze, "Hm, since when can a temporary hair dye turn hair completely white?"

A couple of seconds of silence passed. Sam opened her mouth to try and say something that might seem plausible, but Danny spoke up first, "Fine, you got me… It wasn't me that was sleeping on my bed… it was Phantom."

Maddie gasped and covered her mouth, Jack stood up and started hollering about fudge and ghosts, Jazz nearly fainted, Tucker choked and started coughing and Sam just sighed and rubbed her forehead, as if she expected this.

"He seemed so tired, so I offered to let him sleep on my bed while I went out with Sam and Tucker."

Maddie frowned, "But Sam and Tucker said…"

"We lied!" Tucker exclaimed, before flushing a bit when he noticed his volume. Much quieter, he continued, "We knew about Phantom, but we knew you would get real mad if you found out, so we said Danny wasn't with us." This, by all means, didn't make sense, but Maddie seemed to accept it. She turned back to Danny.

"Danny, how many times do I have to tell you and Jazz to stop helping ghosts! This is the fifth time this week!" she exclaimed. Shaking her head, she sighed, "Don't do it again, mister. And stay here while I go calm down your father." The one mentioned had run off to the lab, saying something about decontamination. Maddie headed off.

A moment of silence. Then-

" _What the fuck was that?_ That was so-"

"Oh my god, Danny, what if they had-"

"That was kind of stupid, I mean, I do stupid but that-"

"And not only that but you also-"

"Mom was already suspicious, now it's-"

"And this is way worse than the time I-"

" _SHUT UP!"_ Danny, yelled. They did so, casting Angry, concerned and amused looks respectively. He glared at Sam and Tucker, "You guys don't get to scold me about my _'stupidity'_ when it was _you guys_ who let me fall asleep as Phantom!" Turning to Jazz, his gaze softened, "You didn't do anything wrong but don't start psychoanalyzing me because I will straight out leave." He looked at the three of them then plopped down on the big couch, sighing. Just then, a small head popped up beside Danny.

"So, when are y'all gunna drop me off at the GZ?" it asked suddenly.

Danny fell off the couch, " _mOTHERFUCK-"_


End file.
